The Master Bedroom
"My relationship is dead!" the woman told me as she ushered me into her home. With one look at her bedroom I saw why. A giant cow skull was hanging over the bed. The Feng Shui question I ask myself is the same old "chicken and egg" question: Which came first? The feeling of death in the relationship—so we hang the large cow skull over the bed to symbolize that death—or, did we hang the skull up and subsequently "kill" the relationship? Sometimes I think that both things arrive simultaneously. The skull on the wall simply gives us a visible picture of what is going on beneath, in the bed.
Your bedroom is the second most important room in the house, after the kitchen. A bedroom is our sanctuary for rest, relaxation from the stresses of our lives, the place where we recuperate and where we spend time with our most intimate others. Keeping this in mind, let us take a look at your bedroom.
When I consult on a house, one of the things I am looking for is how the bedroom is decorated in relation to the rest of the house. For each person, the bedroom is their private area. How you maintain your personal and private space indicates how you treat yourself as relative to how you treat the rest of the world. If I see beautiful, elegant furnishings in the living room, dining room and family room, but find a master bedroom filled with second–hand furniture found at a yard sale, battered and uncared for, I comment on it, "It would appear that you are taking care of everyone but yourself. My advice is to take as good care of yourself as you would take of others. This will help you be around for a long time to share your life with those you care about."
Of prime importance is the placement of the bed in any bedroom, especially in the master bedroom (see figs. 16 and 17). In some systems of Feng Shui, the Feng Shui expert works with compass directions, determining which direction is lucky or unlucky for the individual(s) who sleep in this room. But, before you can consider the directions, it is necessary to inspect the layout of the room. Here are the rules for bed placement.
Master Bedroom Bed Placement
Fig. 16: This bedroom has two problems: the bed is too close to the door and across from a mirror. Sleeping in this position can cause restless sleep and health problems. A plant should be placed between the bed and the door to help protect the sleeper. A prismatic crystal should be hung in front of the mirror to break up the negative energy that comes from sleeping across from it.
Rule #1: One should not sleep with one’s feet pointing out the door. There is an old saying that when a person dies, they are carried out feet first; so, sleeping with your feet pointing out the door is considered bad for your health. The door referred to here is the main door, not a bathroom door or a patio door.
Cure: Move the bed to a new position. Or, if it is not possible to move the bed, then hang a prismatic crystal over the door into the bedroom. The crystal should be visible from the bed. This will disburse the negative Qi and keep your feet (and the rest of you) in your bed until you want to get up.
Rule #2: One should not sleep with one’s feet pointing at a mirror. Some believe that the soul travels at night while we are sleeping. But if the soul, while leaving the body, should see it’s reflection in a mirror, it may become frightened and leave for good. A mirror behind the bed, above the bed or beside the bed is considered acceptable—it is only when the feet of the sleeper point toward a mirror that it is considered unlucky.
Cure: The best cure is to move either the bed or the mirror. If it is not possible to move the bed or the mirror, a prismatic crystal can be used. If the mirror is part of a dresser, then crystal bottles (like perfume bottles) can sit on the dresser in front of the mirror. The crystal helps break up the Qi reflected by the mirror. Hang the crystal from a string and attach the string to the back of the dresser, allowing the crystal to drape over in front of the mirror. If the mirror is part of mirrored closet doors, it is sufficient to hang a single prismatic crystal in front of the doors. The crystal should be hung so it does not impede the opening of the doors. Again, this will help balance the flow of Qi and stop negative Qi.
Master Bedroom: More Bed Placement
Fig. 17: This bedroom has two problems, the feet of the sleeper point out the door and one can see the commode from the bed. Sleeping in this position can cause health, sleep and career problems. Solutions include placing a mirror above the bathroom door facing into the bathroom and hanging a prismatic crystal over the bedroom door just inside the bedroom.
Rule #3: From a reclining position, one should not be able to see a toilet. In general, the energy of the commode is considered unlucky but if one can see it while lying in bed it has an even stronger negative effect. It is believed to cause stomach and intestinal problems.
Cure: The best cure is to move the bed. If moving the bed is not an option, then keep the bathroom door closed—or at least keep the door closed enough to prevent a view of the commode. If an individual who sleeps in the room has a history of stomach or intestinal problems, it may be necessary to hang a small mirror (four inches in diameter or less) above the bathroom door facing into the bathroom. This mirror can be a simple, round mirror, or part of some decorative arrangement. This will help to keep the negative bathroom energy contained.
Rule #4: One should not sleep too close to the main bedroom door. If the room is small, the bed must sometimes be positioned very close to the door. If it is closer than three feet, it is considered to be too close for comfortable sleep. The person who sleeps on the side of the bed nearest the door (if they share the bed with another) will feel responsible for the health and safety of both of the people who share the bed, and may not sleep well, feeling the need to be watchful and on guard even while asleep.
Cure: If the bed cannot be repositioned, it is best to place a table or nightstand between the sleeper and the door. A large plant, preferably with pointed leaves, should be placed on the nightstand. This will help the sleeper feel more safe while they slumber.
Rule #5: A bed should be placed on a solid wall. This is important if the person who sleeps in the bed has a history of sinus problems or if the sleeper is a child. Placing the bed on a solid wall gives the sleeper the feeling of support. Children who sleep next to a window may feel that they are vulnerable to a stranger looking in, even if their room is on an upper floor. If there is a history of sinus problems, then the draft from windows will not help the sleeper.
Cure: If the bed cannot be placed on a solid wall, place a mirror in the window, facing out. The mirror can be small (less than one inch in diameter) and can be taped to the glass.
Rule #6: The bed of an adult should not be on more than one wall. If the bed is placed in the corner so that both the head and one side are on walls it provides too much support, acting like a crutch, holding back the individual from independent action. If two people sleep in a bed that is on two walls, the person who sleeps next to the wall will feel no sense of independence, and will have their life dictated by the will of others.
Cure: Leave at least enough room for the occupant(s) of the bed to exit from either side.
Rule #7: One should not sleep under something heavy. Large paintings or posters framed with glass should not be placed above the bed because if they fall down, they will injure the sleeper.
Rule #8: Likewise, it is considered unlucky to have ceiling fans directly over the sleeper’s chest or head, because even though the fans are secured to the ceiling, the motion and the weight they represent can disrupt a person’s sleep. It is believed that if the fan is positioned above a sleeper’s head, the individual will have sinus problems; if the fan is positioned over the sleeper’s heart, the individual will have chest trouble; and if the fan is positioned over the stomach, the sleeper will have stomach and intestinal problems.
Rule #9: One should not sleep next to heavy furniture. Very tall, very heavy pieces should not be placed next to a bed. The rule is: the height of the furniture is the minimum distance to the bed. A heavy dresser, for example, is too close if it would hit the sleeper should it fall over. The "pressure" from large objects next to the bed can cause a disruption of regular sleep patterns.
Rule #10: Neutralize any poison arrows. Poison arrows are common in bedrooms—especially if the bedroom has a built-in closet or private bathroom. A poison arrow is created when a corner protrudes into the room (see diagram). Poison arrows are a serious problem if the arrow (or corner) points to the bed. This can divide the Qi, causing problems between a couple who share the bed, or can create personal stress for an individual.
Cure: Poison arrows can be cured in several ways. Bell strings or hanging plants can be hung in front of the protruding corner, or one can place a piece of furniture between the bed and the arrow. This neutralizes the sha Qi of the poison arrow.
If you are seeking change in your personal and intimate relationships, if you are not sleeping well, if you are ill or recovering from an illness too slowly, you may want to alter the Qi in your bedroom overall. Here are a few specific suggestions.
To attract a relationship first stop repelling them. Examine the décor of your bedroom and ask yourself if you would feel comfortable inviting a lover into the room. Are you proud of how the room looks? Or, is it in such disarray that both you and your prospective partner would have to climb over the clutter just to get to the bed? Create a welcoming environment for yourself and for the potential "someone" you might like to invite into your private space.
Remove teddy bears, stuffed animals and other toys that are reminders of childhood. These types of toys are given to children who have to sleep alone. They may be providing you with comfort but keeping you from attracting the comfort you need from a living, breathing other.
Remove pictures of Mom and Dad, Grandma and other family members. Pictures of family should be placed in family rooms, living rooms, hallways, etc. Your bedroom is your private place. (Remember, it is hard to be passionate with an intimate other in front of Mom and Dad.) Also, and for a similar reason, keep religious items to a minimum. Unless sexuality is a major part of your religious expression, keep only a few spiritual icons in the bedroom. These are better placed in the living room, kitchen, family room or dining room.
Remove any décor that is a reminder of the past or of death and sadness. Remove dried flower arrangements, pictures of cold, icy landscapes and skeletons or skulls of dead animals (no cow skulls with horns, no matter how attractively they may have been preserved or decorated). If you are in a happy relationship, limit your selection of these types of items to one per room. More than that will give you an attachment to the past while healthy and happy relationships are based on current loving and supportive experiences, mutual growth and a vision of the future.
To attract a new relationship, buy new sheets. I have known some clients to get an entire new bed. They felt that their old bed held the Qi of the old relationship (or lack thereof) and that a new bed would bring new relationships and love into their lives. If you cannot afford a new bed, buy the sheets—preferably in a different color than ones you have had before. (See Chapter 15, Colors, pp. 206) will provide for lots of ideas about the different kinds of Qi each color attracts. (However, let me give you a little hint here: try red!)
Treat yourself to some new pajamas or a pretty nightgown. The purpose of these exercises is to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally to welcome a guest into your bedroom. Hang a single bell or a string of bells near the bed. Bells call new Qi into a space (see pp. 163, Bells, for more information). Chime them often. The sound tells the Universe that you are open to love and are calling in a new relationship.
To rid yourself of an old, no longer desired relationship, start by removing that Qi from your personal space. Remove any of their clothing, books, pictures and knick–knacks from the room. If the objects are ones you want to keep, clear them by using salt or sage. If the individual still has not moved out of your home, place salt crystals under their shoes and in a dish under their side of the bed. Salt removes attachments to people (and things), and will cause them to feel unattached to you and to the house. This lack of attachment will be an encouragement to them to find somewhere else to be. Once they move out, give yourself new sheets and new pillow cases (or new pillows) and start fresh.
Sometimes people have trouble sleeping. If that is happening to you, remove anything that is under your bed. Clean and keep the area under your bed perfectly clear of any storage or clutter for the time being. Next, choose restful colors for your décor. Consider pinks, pastels or tans. It would be best to paint the walls but if that is not possible, at least change out the bedspread and the sheets. Also, consider wearing night clothes in pastel colors (not white).
Some herbs promote sleep. Place chamomile or lavender—either a plant or some dried herb—next to the bed. Consider adding other plants to the environment, too. Plants give off oxygen and can help you relax. Remove any paper, bills and calendars from your immediate sleeping area. It is best not to store files in the bedroom. Keep the room very dark; add black–out curtains to the windows if necessary. Place "sleepy" art in the room, pictures of a sleepy town, sleeping cats, restful scenes and quiet interiors.
Also, too many electronics can disturb sleep, even if you are not using them. Remove excess electronics such as the television, computer and stereo, etc., from the bedroom. Watching too much television is like getting a restless sleep. It gives your body and mind nothing it really needs. So if you really have trouble sleeping, give up the television for a few days and try reading; see if your sleep improves.
When you are recovering from an illness, it is best to decorate the room with colors that promote health and healing and ones that keep you grounded (that is, conscious of your body and your surroundings in the present moment). Avoid pinks and purples in the bedroom at such times, and choose greens, browns, tans and other earth tones. If you cannot change your wall color, at least change the bedspread and sheets. Plants promote wellness. If the room is too dark for live plants, consider silk ones. Plants are symbols of good health.
Decorate the walls with lively pictures of children playing, happy people and wonderful places you want to visit. Choose rich land-scapes, travel posters and maps. Place your remedies and treatments or medicines in a convenient drawer out of sight unless it is time to take them. Only leave medical equipment in clear sight if you must use it constantly. Clear the air and Qi every few days using incense, essential oils or by opening the window for a good airing (weather permitting). Use a fan occasionally to help the Qi and the air circulate.
1. If you want to move and are unable to find the means or the energy to do so, move your bed away from all walls in the bedroom. Allowing the bed to "float" in the room energetically removes the support you have been receiving from your current residence and allows (or requires) you to become more independent of your immediate circumstances. You will no longer feel attached to the house and therefore it will become easier for you to move.
2. If you would like to become pregnant (or to have children), it is considered unwise to clean under the bed. Feng Shui lore dictates that the soul of the baby visits his or her mother–to–be and that if you clean under your bed you may frighten the baby away. Likewise, no furniture should be moved in the bedroom of a woman who is pregnant—this again so as not to frighten away the soul of the baby.
3. An individual’s bedroom should not be visible from the front door. When your bed can be seen by visitors they can come to feel "intimate" with you much too quickly and may therefore take liberties they would otherwise not have dared to take. You may find that people ask for favors and expect special treatment from you very soon after you have met them. In matters of the heart, you will attract relationships that become physically intimate quickly (which may or may not be a good thing).
4. Feng Shui lore tells of an ancient cure for backaches: place a piece of chalk under the exact spot where the afflicted person sleeps. This is said to alleviate the back pain. (Well, it certainly couldn’t hurt!)
5. Just one more thought…the master bedroom is for the master(s) of the house. Whoever sleeps in that bedroom will control the household—even if that individual is a child. There are no exceptions to this rule. You may think that because of the size or the location of the room within the house that it is more suitable for the twins or your visiting mother–in–law, but heed this warning: the person who sleeps/resides in the master bedroom rules the house.